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Friday, June 6th, 2008

That’s how much the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped today. Just over 3%. Me, I don’t really care. I have no stocks anymore, so I have nothing, really, to lose directly from dives like that.

But I went to CNN when I got their ‘Breaking News’ email regarding this. And I really wanted to see a picture of people rioting in the streets, trucks on fire, thousands of tons of shredded paper flying out of the windows of high rise buildings. I wanted chaos and confusion and people in suits with tears running down bloodied faces, arms thrown to the sky, cursing at God and all His many creatures. Instead of that, I got a picture of some guy in a blue suit carrying a clipboard looking pensive. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be totally batshit nuts.

In related news, I want it to be known by all: I think John McCain is a two-faced liar, and if I ever met him, I’d seriously give him a nasty titty-twister. That’s right, I’d grab McCain’s nipples, one in each hand, between forefinger and thumb, and twist–perhaps 90 degrees. Then I’d let go and look him straight in the eye and say, “Okay, now, calm down!”

Fridays are always a little weird for me because, inevitably, I forget to eat lunch. It makes me kinda weird for the rest of the day.

Happy weekend to both of my readers.

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Connected

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

So I finally got a new phone. I’ve been using the very solid, very useful, very plain Samsung T509 for a very long time, and I have absolutely nothing but praise for it. It is compact, lightweight, solid, and incredibly durable (I twice dropped it in water and, once dried, it continued to work beautifully). Recently, however, its usefulness began to fade as the battery (brand new, mind you) would drain within a few hours of being fully charged and I would randomly have operating system crashes in the form of a white screen. It became an annoyance. So I hopped over to T-Mobile and looked for a good upgrade that wouldn’t cost me an arm and a leg.

I ended up going with the T-Mobile Shadow, which is an exceptional leap forward in terms of usability, applications and, dare I say it, connectivity. It’s lightweight, compact, and has a very satisfying slider that I just love using. It’s got space for an SD card, stereo bluetooth compatibility, runs Windows Mobile operating system, and is, just generally, much more phone than I am used to.

Was a time when I considered the end-all, be-all of phone functionality to be limited to phone calls and text messaging. But it’s actually kind of hard to get a phone that does those two functions well and doesn’t overload your brain with extra functionality. I have shunned so-called “Smart Phones” for so long that I hadn’t realized how simple and advanced they have become. That my phone has a WiFi card is just stunning to me. Perhaps I’m more a Luddite than I initially thought.

In any event, thus far it’s been a seamless transition. I stored all my contacts on the T-Mobile address book which is available online, rather than stored on the SIM card, so once the phone connected, I had all my contacts synchronized and ready for use.

Speaking of synchronization, the damn thing has a USB cable to connect to my computer for synchronization with images, music, scheduling, contacts, emails–the thing is more computer than many of my previous computers (consider the Tandy 1000, my first real desktop).

There are downsides, of course. The voice quality on the handset isn’t the best, and given my hearing issues caused by years and years of listening to very loud music far too often, it’s troublesome. Fortunately, the stereo earphones work very nicely for this and, according to people I’ve talked to thus far, the quality of my voice transmitted through the headset’s microphone is completely understandable. It’s even got a 2.0 Megapixel camera attached to it. My first digital camera… let’s not even get into that.

I imagine that I’ll find things about it that frustrate me, but for now I think I’ve made a very good choice.

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Small Fries

Friday, May 30th, 2008

I’m absolutely all for making things usable and accessible to everyone. I like websites to be semantically coded, I like audio books for the blind, and I get a sour taste in my mouth when I can’t get a ramp to get up stairs.

But there are two urinals in the bathroom closest to my cube. One is a normal height, slightly short maybe for me, since I’m 6′4″. The other comes up to about 3 inches below my knee. This is a drug and literature warehouse/fulfillment company. There are no dwarfs who work here. No child labor. For some reason, usability studies convinced this multi-million dollar company to install usable urinals for tiny people.

If I were to try using it, gravity would quite likely force me to change my pants.

This is a lesson, I think, to not develop usability studies in a vacuum. Or I’m just bitching because I don’t have a spare pair of jeans in my cube.

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High Point in a Valley

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

You know it’s pretty much a wash of a day when the most important, interesting thing that happens to you is that you move to a new cube. That’s definitely a signal that your evening better be a lot more vibrant. You can’t end a day with the high point of, “Now my monitors have a slightly different backdrop.”

It’s also sad when you rationalize it further. You say, “No, this really is interesting and exciting.” That’s where I am right now. New desk, new cube, new walls, new chair–this truly is the high point of my day.

I’ve long been a champion of working environments that are tailored not only for productivity (and, related, the bottom line of the company), but also for the comfort of the worker. Things that, a few years ago, would’ve been considered absolutely silly, such as dual or triple monitor setups, have become absolutely integral to my ability to write code efficiently with fewer mistakes and more ability to test. Running the code side-by-side with the project your working on is more than just saving you the keystroke of alt-tabbing to the right screen. Once you make a migration to that environment, you don’t want to ever, ever work in a different one.

The company I’m with now goes out of its way to make the working environment conducive to productivity and comfort. So maybe my high point really can be the new cube. Or maybe I’m rationalizing a dull life.

At the end of the day, though, who cares?

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Long Weekends

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

So it’s been one of those weekends, I’m afraid. Lost in the wilderness of free time. My dear friend Derek leaves for Scotland this morning for his 4 years at St. Andrews, paid just to be clever and write philosophical papers and such. An open-ended position, and I am seething with envy. We played video games and drank beer late into the night last night. He was only in town for a few days, and he’ll be back in August.

Sometimes we forgot how much someone means to us until they leave. Derek leaves a lot, so I’m constantly reminded. Given how often he pops in and out of my life, I’m surprised at how easy the “See you next time,” comes to me. And I just know there’s going to be a time when such a comment would be inappropriate. Eventually, he’s just going to stop somewhere and stay.

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to shape teh future

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

I’ve tried really, really hard to not jump the gun in this 2008 election season and support one candidate or another, not so much because I want to see where the cards fall, but because it’s been more important to me to determine a candidate’s efficacy based off his or her prior words as contrast to their current actions, and prior words are always cumulating, as time moves inexorably forward. Hillary has said some marvelous things in the past, as well as in the present. McCain used to be a beacon of moderation in the Senate in the past. And Obama…

Obama spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. I remember thinking to myself, “This man could be the next President. I wish he were running at not the easily-forgettable Kerry.”

The pundits, the pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them, too. We worship an “awesome God” in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq. We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America.

It was that quote that I was reminded of today. Reading it again, then watching pieces of the address at Youtube, brought tears to my eyes. He wasn’t speaking about Kerry and Edwards in 2004, he was speaking about himself in 2008. And I’ve been saying this since the beginning of this exceedingly long campaign season: If Obama’s handlers would just let him loose, there’d be no stopping him, as evidenced by this speech in 2004.

It’s so rare to think of the candidate with a message of hope actually doing well nationally. And I just might take a chance and hope along with him. When it comes down to it, I’ll vote for Obama, instead of against McCain.

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Business Casual

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Once or twice a month, here at the office, we have important people who come to visit. We are warned ahead of time and asked to dress in “business casual.” This removes jeans & t-shirts from my wardrobe. It also removes piercings.

Now, I’m sorta okay with the attitude of “looking successful,” despite how disingenuous it feels in my soul. But what I don’t get is that they ask me to remove my visible piercings. I have one in my right nostril. When I take it out, I am left with a visible hole in my right nostril.

Which looks more successful? The guy with the fancy jewelry, or the guy with the third nostril?

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+18 Years

Monday, May 19th, 2008

It’s been 18 years since I first sat down with my NES and popped the Super Mario Bros 3 cartridge in. I played the absolute hell out of that game, through it multiple times, alone and with others. It was a fantastic game that literally consumed all my freetime for years.

This past week I bought it again for $5 from the online shop for the Nintendo Wii. It’s been 18 years, and the game is as fresh and entertaining as it was when it first came out, which is absolutely extraordinary.

Consider a modern game. Say, Grand Theft Auto IV. A fun game, to be sure. Consider putting it down for 18 years. When you pick it back up, I can almost guarantee that the charm of the old game will only hold you for a matter of hours, perhaps minutes, before you are annoyed with the ancient interface (surely by then we’ll have 30+ buttons on our controllers, and at least 6 analog sticks) and put it down to go back to Halo 8 or something. The story won’t be interesting, the gameplay will be clichéd and dull, and it simply won’t hold your attention.

SMB3, however, maintains the glee. The innocence. The pure joy of jumping through those old levels and making progress. Throwing life after life away on hard levels, breezing through the easier ones.

On the very first level, as I jumped onto a big white block, my first instinct was to duck down for a few seconds so that I could fall behind the scenery. This is an action I did without thought, without planning. It’s shocking the things you remember.

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The Edwards Bump

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

From CNN:

Former Sen. John Edwards will endorse Sen. Barack Obama’s presidential candidacy, Obama’s campaign says.

Ah, the Edwards Bump.

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Misplaced Lines

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

So this morning, on my ride into the office, I was stopped at a red light behind a woman who was putting on makeup.

So, I leaned on my horn, startling her enough to draw a line from her left eye out to her ear. I couldn’t possibly be more happy with the result.

Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they’re ugly & they smell bad.

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Walkabout

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

I don’t know many people who walk with canes, but if you do, Fashionable Canes and Walking Sticks is an awesome online store. Ordered a new one from them just recently and I couldn’t be happier. I have every intention of buying from them again.

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BioShock (2)

Friday, May 9th, 2008

BioShock: The Movie? Okay, I’m interested. Gore Verbinski has done some good work. And I certainly enjoyed the game.

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• N+

Friday, May 9th, 2008

N+

Developer: Slick Entertainment
Publisher: Metanet Software, Inc.
Genre: Action
Release Date: 2/20/2008
Console: Xbox 360

I cannot say enough positive stuff about this game. First, it’s an Xbox Live Arcade game. Second, it only cost 800 Microsoft points (roughly $10). Third, it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time with a video game. I don’t mean it’s the best game I’ve played, no, nor am I saying it’s the most well-rounded game, or the best graphics, or the best sound or story or dot dot dot. No, I’m saying I haven’t had this kind of fun in a long time.

And I feel kind of slimy for having three game reviews in three days, but this just needs to be written about.

Lewis & I downloaded it on a whim last night, and after playing 5 levels in the trial free game, I bought it. Quickly. Impulsively. And then we played until hours past my bedtime. I’m exhausted today.

The game play feels just like a Flash game, which is understandable since its original design was as a Flash game. A free one, even. These guys made this game, generated a huge interest in it, and they were asked to develop it for XBLA to the tune of lots of money, no doubt, so people like me can download it and play the game on the big screen rather than for free on the smaller computer screen.

Just go play the free version right now. And if you have Xbox Live Arcade, download it. And then buy it. And invite over friends to play together. Christ, what are you waiting for?!

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• Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

Call of Duty 4

Developer: Infinity Ward
Publisher: Activision Publishing, Inc.
Genre: Action
Release Date: 11/6/2007
Console: Xbox 360

This may well be the first game I’ve ever encountered whose vague genre is actually accurate. This is the most action-packed game ever. Period. High praise? Well worth it, says I. From start to finish, the polish in this game shines. The one-player game is lengthy, packed with story, and full of action, from crawling through the grass wearing a Ghillie suit to avoid detection as the enemy walks within mere paces of you, to watching a nuclear explosion–from up close.

You play from two different perspectives: First as the SAS agent Sergeant Soap” MacTavish and then in the US Marines as Sergeant Paul Jackson. These two perspectives do not occur in a vacuum, and besides one small flashback, the two perspectives happen in tandem. I won’t give anything away for the story, because you can easily find that out from Wikipedia or the like. Suffice it to say that the story is, actually, one of the selling points.

Calls of Duty 1, 2, and 3 all were set in WWII, in the European theater. This one deals with Russians and Arabs in the modern era (hence ‘Modern Warfare’ in the title). This departure was, initially, something I was concerned about. However, within a few minutes of playing (after the hour or two of just staring at the absolute beauty of the game), my concerns were completely mollified. The modern era is just fine to fight in, says I.

The real beauty of the game, however, comes out in the multiplayer games. First, Infinity Ward developed the idea of a “party” so you can go from game to game with the same group of people, rather than leaving it up to the luck of the draw, or reserving spots in your multiplayer game for your friends. This allows for a camaraderie that, actually, makes the gaming experience that much more intense. This innovation is something I hope to see in all future multiplayer games on the 360 but, to be honest, I’m not holding my breath.

The multiplayer games are, in a word, awesome. By creating a leveling system (gaining XP for kills, completing innovative challenges related to weapons and special kill tactics, et al), Infinity Ward gives the player the chance to actually invest in the character s/he is playing. You want to level up to get new guns, new perks, and new camouflage patterns to make your “class” if not unique than at least something you’re comfortable fighting with.

Lots and lots of innovation in the multiplayer. Lots and lots of polish in the main campaign.

One can only hope/wish/pray that COD5, due Fall of 2008, learns from the amazing victories of this game, and doesn’t repeat the mistakes the developers made in COD3.

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• GTA IV

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

Grand Theft Auto IVDeveloper: Rockstar North
Publisher: Rockstar Games
Genre: Action
Release Date: 04/29/2008
Console: Xbox 360

So by now you should know that I’m a fan of video games. I’m particularly a fan of video games that utilize a sandbox approach towards the game development. Oblivion, one of my favorite games, emphasizes sandbox play perfectly — there’s more storyline outside the main storyline in that one game than any ten games combined released before it.

And that’s the way I like it.

Apparently, that’s the way most of the gaming public likes it. Apparently, in the first weekend of its release, it sold roughly 6,000,000 copies, for a total of over $500,000,000 USD. That’s a lot of cash, and this game is, quite frankly, worth it.

You play the part of Nico Bellic, a Russian immigrant who came to America following the dreams of his cousin, Roman, who filled his head with stories of the luxurious life available to anyone with the chutzpah to take a chance or two. Of course, that’s not the situation Nico finds himself in, and there begins the sandbox. You can either go do the missions for your brother, picking up cab fares and building up a financial windfall… or not.

If you’ve played a GTA game before, you know that it’s pretty much totally open-ended. Go steal a car and go for a joy ride for a few hours. Or go out to the beach and beat up civilians for hours and hours and hours, slowly picking up the cash they leave behind… or don’t. You can follow the storyline or not. You can do vicious crimes or not. It’s that open-ended.

And the graphics… The first lightning storm you watch, you’ll know that this is one of the newest games on the market, using some of the best graphics ever realized. It’s just fantastic.

It has a huge drawback, however: It’s not a first-person shooter. And while that’s obvious, the reason it’s a drawback is not because I prefer FPS games, but because this game THINKS it is one sometimes. When you have to clear out a warehouse of Italian mobsters, 20 or 30 targets at a time, or when you have to clear out street after street of armed police officers after you’ve knocked over a bank–these are times when a modern FPS interface would make it a playable game.

As it is, it’s a hurdle that is nearly insurmountable. It’s painful. It’s stressful. It’s downright rude to have to go through it this way. But you have no choice, and the tiny aiming reticule you see, as though you’re merely watching over Nico’s shoulder, is all you’ve got.

So far, in the main storyline, only once has this been a required activity to go through, and there was sufficient cover and I was prepared enough to be able to get through it. The rest of the FPS-type games seem to be in the side-quests. But that’s no excuse, Rockstar. You seem to have put together a game that is unfinished in this regard. A glaring mistake.

Or a design choice? We’ve been feeding on the frenzy surrounding this game’s release for a long time now, and I was hoping that the clumsiness of previous releases would’ve been completely remedied by now.

Well…

All in all, a fantastic game. The voice acting is much above par, the graphics are awesome, and the story is interesting (if not particularly new). The interface, as mentioned, is the same old interface, tired and true. And that’s why it doesn’t get the 10/10 score that everyone else seems to give it. You give me a clunky interface, I enjoy the game much less. The interface should be as transparent as possible, and this one is very transparent–it’s totally invisible. Completely absent.

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