That’s how much the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped today. Just over 3%. Me, I don’t really care. I have no stocks anymore, so I have nothing, really, to lose directly from dives like that.

But I went to CNN when I got their ‘Breaking News’ email regarding this. And I really wanted to see a picture of people rioting in the streets, trucks on fire, thousands of tons of shredded paper flying out of the windows of high rise buildings. I wanted chaos and confusion and people in suits with tears running down bloodied faces, arms thrown to the sky, cursing at God and all His many creatures. Instead of that, I got a picture of some guy in a blue suit carrying a clipboard looking pensive. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be totally batshit nuts.

In related news, I want it to be known by all: I think John McCain is a two-faced liar, and if I ever met him, I’d seriously give him a nasty titty-twister. That’s right, I’d grab McCain’s nipples, one in each hand, between forefinger and thumb, and twist–perhaps 90 degrees. Then I’d let go and look him straight in the eye and say, “Okay, now, calm down!”

Fridays are always a little weird for me because, inevitably, I forget to eat lunch. It makes me kinda weird for the rest of the day.

Happy weekend to both of my readers.